Good Lord Faye

I rant a lot and often about the benefits of buying secondhand clothes for kids. I’ve also run my own small children’s brand, so I support the notion as well that there’s a place for ethically made childrenswear in the world. In our home, secondhand and preloved almost always take the lead, due to my budget as well as the fast pace at which my very tall five year old continues to grow.

A new thought on the topic of kids and clothing came to me recently, upon seeing the outfit that my daughter had chosen for her non-uniform day at school. She had spent the night before at her dad’s house so her outfit was a total surprise to me when I spotted her while I was volunteering at the school. She paired a Boden mermaid sweater dress I’d purchased for her on Vinted with some blue and green tie dye joggers I found at Fara Kids for four pounds. To top it all off, she opted for some secondhand Doc Marten boots from her uncle, and two top knot Baby-Spice inspired buns on her head. It was a little wild, I’m not gonna lie.

And she loved her look.

I realized that one of the potential outcomes of me allowing her to choose her own clothing, outfits, and hairstyles on the daily, is that she’s slowly developing her own taste and personal style.

If we are to encourage children from a young age to make their own decisions about what to wear, are we not empowering them to discover what brings them joy – and could this not be a simple and effective way to counter the effects that fast fashion marketing campaigns could have on their future buying habits?

Scandinavian Inspiration

When I lived in Sweden, it always struck me how creative kids were with their color combinations. Even before moving and nine years into life there, I felt it was like spotting a ton of tiny Pippi Longstockings on the playgrounds. Bright prints that clashed, weatherproof gear that encouraged them to play outside no matter the weather, and clothing not categorized by gender in the shops.

I had a Swedish acquiantance say to me once that no matter what kind of crazy combination of garments her daughter chose each day, she always told her “you’ve made a great decision”, so the girl felt confident in her ability to choose for herself. That stuck with me as the mom of a growing baby girl, and it’s something I say to my own daughter today.

Perhaps I am naïve, but I like to think that this encouragement at such a young age will have some impact in the decisions she makes about what goes on her body in the future. As a neurodivergent child, she will certainly continue to be motivated by the way an item engages her senses, but I like to think that by developing her own style, she will feel inspired to purchase what speaks to her personally, and not what’s being shoved in her face as an impressionable young consumer.

How we shop

Because I’m on a strict budget and because of my own personal beliefs about shopping, we head to the charity shops when it’s time to find something new, and we also do our shopping on Vinted. How do I shop with her online? I log in a couple times a week, browse and favorite items I think she might like, and then when it’s clear she needs something, I pull up my favorites page and she lets me know whether or not she likes something. If nothing is a hit, we do a little searching together.

It’s what works for us and it has its benefits: it gives her further say in what she will be wearing, it teaches her that we can get most of what we need gently used, and it sparks creativity as it allows her to imagine new combinations of garments with her already existing wardrobe.

I like to think I’m creating the opposite of a monster. Time will tell, but I can’t help but think there’s nothing but upsides to encouraging young people to develop and take pride in their own personal style.